Home (Depot) is where the heart is.

Back to this seemingly daily saga of Hope Depot and me.

A few days ago, I went to Home Depot to get stain for the floor of the bedroom that I'm refinishing. Now, having reviewed the product literature so that I wouldn't look like an idiot again, I asked the man at the paint department to mix up the color of stain that I was going to use on the floor. Unexpectedly, his reply was, “Hmmmmmmm, I've never done that before.” Imagine my surprise when he said that. I figured that anybody working at Home Depot was qualified to build a 747 in their basement from spare parts without plans. Therefore mixing up floor stain seemed like a layup to me. Now hearing that he had never made up colored stain before didn't quite have the same significance as a brain surgeon saying in the middle of an operation, “I'll never quite worked in this part of the brain before,” but it sure surprised me. It really didn't make any difference because they didn't have the base stain in stock that I needed anyway. But they were kind enough to look up in the computer for a Home Depot in the immediate area that might have the stain. Surprisingly, the closest Home Depot that had the base stain was located in Everett, about 20 miles away. So, I went to Everett. The young lady at the counter at the paint department was very helpful. When I mentioned that none of the other stores in Eastern Massachusetts had the base stain that I was looking for, I figured that none of the stores had it because it was flying off the shelves because it was so popular. I was pleased that I had chosen a product widely approved for staining by pro and amateur alike. Then she looked up the product code in a little hand-held computer and told to me that no one had purchased this type of base stain since Leonardo da Vinci was working on the Sistine Chapel. I had her mix it up anyway. I'll let you know how things turn out. Stay tuned for the next blog when I relate my first use of a floor sander. Keep in mind: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS IDIOT PROOF.

Speaking of idiots, Happy April Fools Day, Johnny Miller.

Tell me honestly that you've never read an email article, an Internet article, a blog posting anywhere, any time, any day by anyone that contains the word Kardashian in it. If that is true, you have my permission to read on.

The two worst things that ever happened to this country are the initial broadcast of the reality show Survivor and the Watergate scandal. Survivor's success created the all the present-day reality shows that we see over and over and over on TV these days. You can't swing a dead cat by the tail near the TV without seeing two people arguing about something in order to get the “edgy” confrontation that reality TV thrives on. Remember: if people didn't watch it, it would go away. Watergate created investigative reporting which begot 60 Minutes, which led to ABC's 20-20, that spawned radio talk shows which led to cable TV talk shows which led to “edgy” TV news. As in, “Moscow in Flames, Missiles Heading Our Way, Film at 11. Back to you Francesca.”

Sorry, I'm not going to be able to root for Tiger Woods until I see a video of him showing up at Applebee's with the next wife and kiddies and see him spending the meal sitting there with his littlest kid on his lap feeding him or her French fries. Don't hold your breath

And speaking of French fries, if you haven't been to a Five Guys restaurant for a cheeseburger and fries, I want you to immediately drop what you are doing, go to computer, look up the nearest Five Guys to you and go there immediately. You can thank me later.

In a related story, how can you eat 1 pound of ice cream (at multiple sittings, of course) and gain 5 pounds?

If I ruled the world:
You could have 3 chocolate chip cookies during Lent, because God would not judge you by the color of your skin but by the content of your heart. (Sorry. My inner Martin Luther King took over there for a moment.)
People would have to stop each day to give thanks. They would take a moment to appreciate what they have. Take a moment to appreciate those around them. They would understand that things could change tomorrow in a way that would make them beg for today and make today, a day that appears to be like any other uneventful day, seem like the greatest day of their lives.
Nobody could spend more than they make, especially the government.

More to follow, because it is quite possible, based upon the rulers of the world as it stands right now that I could be “drafted” as Supreme Leader any day now. If that happens, unfortunately the blogs will have to stop. I'll keep you posted.

I was checking out the obituaries in the Boston Globe the other day and noticed that seven people were listed as having passed away in Medford. Six people passed away in Melrose. Five people passed away. in Somerville. Four people passed away in Stoneham and, check this out, only three people passed away in Boston. I will keep you informed as to whether we all should be moving to “the Hub” or staying away from moving to cities that start with the letter M or S.

Another sign the apocalypse is just around the next bend is a headline from the Associated Press that related that a Colorado Springs Easter egg hunt has been canceled because of aggressive parents.

Speaking of great actors, any movie that Ed Harris is in is usually very entertaining. Also, if you have Netflix or something like that, most movies that Edward Norton or Denzel Washington star in are usually very good.  My all time favorite is Christopher Walken. He is the best. He actually started off his career as a song and dance man which is hard to believe, considering the weird parts that he plays as an actor. But he's always gives a good performance in mysteries and thrillers. Buddy Ebsen also started off as a song and dance man early in his career. Buddy actually was supposed to play the part of the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz in 1939 but it turned out he was allergic to the silver paint. Good break for Jack Haley who became the Tin Man. Jack just happened to also be Liza Minnelli's father-in-law.

Stick right here if you enjoy movie trivia or trivia of any kind, I've got tons of it. For example, did you know that Elmo Lincoln played the first Tarzan in the movies? Probably not but now you do.

You just can't get premium stuff like this on any other blog.

Enjoy The Masters.

Until next time........